Hi Guys, the joke section seems to be a bit thin on the ground
so I guess I will have to change all that when I get back from my sons in Chineham nr Basingstoke.

     Good job  

Hi guys a joke:-
A driver is stuck on the motorway in a traffic jam. Nothing is moving, suddenly a man knocks on the window, the driver rolls down his window and asks,"what's going on???
' Terrorist down the road have kidnapped Gordon Brown, Alistair Darling,David Milibank and Jack straw.They are asking for a 10 million pound ransom. Otherwise they are going to douse them with petrol and set them on fire!!!
We are going from car to car, taking up a collection.
The driver asks, how much is every one giving, on average???

Most people are giving a gallon came the reply !!!!

Ok guys Just a little titter perhaps and not too heavy on the applause!!!

Jesse

,  

           

I remember the original now-not-allowed version    

Anyway....another one for you then:

Would you  re-marry?
>  
> A  husband and  wife are lying quietly in bed reading when
> the wife looks
> over at him and asks  the question.
>  
>  
>  
> WIFE:  "What would you  do if I died? Would you get
> married again?"
>  
> HUSBAND:  "Definitely not!"
>
> WIFE:  "Why not? Don't you like being
> married?"
>
> HUSBAND:  "Of course I do."
>
> WIFE:  "Then why  wouldn't you re-marry?"
>
> HUSBAND:  "Okay, okay, I'd get married
> again."
>
> WIFE:  (with a hurt look) "You  would?"
>  
> HUSBAND: (makes audible  groan)
>  
> WIFE:  "Would you live  in our house?"
>
> HUSBAND:  "Sure. It's a great  house."
>
> WIFE:  "Would you sleep with her in our  bed?"
>
> HUSBAND:  "Where else would we sleep?"
>
> WIFE:   "Would you let her drive my car?"
>
> HUSBAND:  "Probably. It is  almost new."
>
> WIFE:  "Would you replace my pictures with
> hers?"
>
> HUSBAND:  "That would seem like the proper thing to
> do."
>
> WIFE:  "Would you give her my jewelry?"
>
> HUSBAND:   "No. I'm sure she'd want her
> own."
>
> WIFE:  "Would you take her  golfing with you?"
>
> HUSBAND:  "Yes. Those are always good  times."
>
> WIFE:  "Would she use my clubs?"
>
> HUSBAND:   "No. She's left-handed."
>  
> WIFE: - silence  -
>
> HUSBAND:   "Oh shit."  

Great joke!!,
it´s universal humour....